Missing my first dog

I’m sitting here in office just after having read something that reminded me very painfully of the very first dog that i could call my own. Max. All the other dogs that i’ve had before were family dogs, shared by my parents and my brother. They never were MY dog. A couple of years ago my wife walked in through the front door cradling a little black bundle that looked terrified and also pissed off. Soon he had taken control not only of the house but also of my heart. He could piss me off to the max, and then turn right around and act so sweet no one could ever dream of scolding him. He was the happiest little dog i had ever seen. Even when he was seriously ill and on saline and antibiotics for days at a stretch, he always had a wag in his tail and a smile on his face for everyone, even the doctors at the vet’s.

The way things worked out I wasn’t around for him when he needed me the most and I know it probably puzzled and hurt him as to why I had walked out the door and never come back. But, brave little puppy that he was, he gave and gave of everything his little heart could. Until one day i got a call saying his heart had finally given up. I guess even the biggest hearts have their limits.

I cried as I wrapped him in garbage bags for lack of anything else and put him in a cold hole i had dug in the ground. Alone in the dark, which he hated so much. I wished so much that i could have patted his head just one more time and seen his eyes close in joy instead of death.

I still feel sad. I still feel guilty. He was the first dog that I truly thought of as mine, and i miss him. 

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18 Responses to “Missing my first dog”

  1. themissingsandwitch Says:

    oh shit, I’m crying

  2. Heather Says:

    moving. just wondering how max died if it doesn’t hurt too much to tell it that is

  3. thekillromeoproject Says:

    He died of heart failiure. I think that’s unheard of in a 7 month old puppy. That’s why i feel he died of a broken heart.

  4. thilini Says:

    wondered whether its max who died in the car 😦

  5. Heather Says:

    what car Romeo? 😦 did he die in a car?

  6. thekillromeoproject Says:

    Yes, he was in a car with the shutters open for ventilation and parked in the shade so the car wouldn’t get too hot….. and still he died of a heart failiure. I guess he just couldn’t give anymore and decided that he needed to do something drastic for the two people he loved the most to sit up and take attention of the people they love the most….. each other.

  7. Heather Says:

    i’m strongly into signs and cymbols and i may be wrong but i believe that you shouldn’t have been in the place that you parked that car out there for. otherwise the dog wouldn’t have died. dont mean to be heartless, just saying with a strong sense of forebearing. there’s an infatuation and attraction that’s evil to the souls of Max’s 2 owners that made that car get to that place. max dies because it was wrong to be there. i dont know if that makes sense. you see some force has made whoever took that car there to be severely distracted by the elements within that region, this has blinded him or her to the real soul out here – max.

    forgive me if i was wrong. i had a strong psychic urge to share.

  8. thekillromeoproject Says:

    I myself are not too into reading or understanding signs and symbols, so I really don’t know how to take this. You may be totally right about this for all I know. As of late I have been pondering the possibilities of the existence of ‘evil eye’ and other bad vibes because of the way things have been going for these last few months. Please feel free to share any other things you feel you should.

  9. Heather Says:

    Forgive me as my words were strong.

    I will never post on this blog again.

    Heather

  10. brandix Says:

    i don’t think your words were meant to be harsh Heather, you sound like you were saying exactly what you felt and even i’m really keen on studying these signs too as i read tarot cards… so don’t stop commenting.

  11. thekillromeoproject Says:

    Heather, while I do agree that your comments did upset me, it doesn’t mean that you need to stop posting. I will always appreciate the comments posted on this blog. I was not looking for answers at to why Max died when I posted this, rather I was letting out the emotions that had been pent up inside for a long time and had not been acknowledged by me. Brandix knows my wife and me well enough to know that we’re open minded about things like Tarot cards, symbols and feelings. Please understand that there still is quite a bit of pain involved with the memories and that is the ONLY reason I moderated your last comment. I felt it would cause unnecessary pain for someone I love. But please keep visiting and commenting.

  12. Heather Says:

    If you remember I was into the evil that made me post in this blog. However now I am set free. Tarrot cards are also of the evil one. So is sorcery and the means by which I related all that I saw when I posted in this blog on June 4th was to do with wiccan behaviour. Kill Romeo it is the wiccan strongholds that you need to be set free from. Release and repent of it. You life will have new meaningi as you search the God of your childhood.

  13. realfantasy23 Says:

    Oh my, It made me cry..poor thing. Even though I’m not kind of animal or pet person but, I so feel like hugging Max once.

    Ikra

  14. Gresha Says:

    Hi killromeo, was just wondering . . is heather a sri lankan or a foreigner?

  15. thekillromeoproject Says:

    I really have no idea Gresha.

  16. Heather Says:

    I believe that you are wiht a new child and a new partner in life. The partner with whom you were in the 4th planetary movement with on the eve of the death of your dog is no more in relationship with you. The destruction of your relationship is through your own folly. However the said partner left woom for wandering under the star sign under which you met were drawn to your new partner. I do not see a very good future for you in the coming months. However 14 years from now you will experience a change in your life which will be dramatic and cause you to question many moves that you made in your current status. E-mail me for further clarification. Heather

    • thekillromeoproject Says:

      Thanks for your comment Heather, but I don’t really believe in star signs and card readings. Rather I believe in a god above who has a plan for my life. Regardless if the way ahead is hard, he will provide for me according to his wisdom and grace 🙂

  17. themissingsandwich Says:

    Just read this post after ages and realized how very difficult it’s going to be to have to move out without Stitch and Mucks when the day comes. 😦

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