True Remorse?

What exactly does the word ‘remorse’ really mean? I mean we’ve all heard the expression and seen numerous examples from Bill Clinton to many others down the line who have gone public and expressed remorse for crimes or wrongs they have committed. But what does it mean to be truly remorseful? I well remember a stunt a couple of friends and myself pulled off many years ago that got caught out. It came to a point where I had to go and apologize to the people concerned and tell them how sorry I was to have done what I did. But I still wonder to myself, was I actually expressing remorse over the wrongs I had done, or was it more that I was regretting the fact that I got caught and trying to wriggle out of the punishment? What I mean is, if I hadn’t got caught but actually got away with the stunt, would I have ever regretted doing it? I think not. I’m fairly sure that we would have high fived each other and had many a good laugh about it over the next few years.

I feel the same is true when it comes to most expressions of remorse and apology. Very often the person who is apologizing, is not doing so because he truly regrets what he did. But rather he’s doing what society expects him to do in order to prevent any further fall out happening. By apologizing all he’s trying to do is minimize the damage that’s going to happen to his reputation and character and maybe escape the consequences. His apology therefore is nothing more than a form of damage control and comes from a very selfish motive of self preservation. After-all, he knows that in ‘civilized’ society, once an apology is accepted, the whole incident should be discreetly swept under the carpet right?

True remorse on the other hand would be if I’ve done something wrong that absolutely no one knows about, but I still come forward and confess to having done it. Feelings of true remorse makes you take actions that put you in the direct line of fire so to speak. It makes you say “fuck whatever the consequences” and take your punishment like a man.

I guess the real difference between the two is, if you’ve done something wrong and it’s keeping you up at night because you feel bad about your actions, that’s remorse. But if it’s fear of getting caught that’s keeping you awake at night, that’s just plain fuck all……

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3 Responses to “True Remorse?”

  1. debra TEPPER Says:

    REMORSE NO SUCH THING

  2. realfantasy23 Says:

    I really agree with you here, because I have seen it myself the real different between Remorse and just a forsake of society apology.

    Ikra

  3. chatonchaton Says:

    this is too true, i just wrote a similar entry and this came up in related posts

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