Disenchanted, disheartened, disappointed…

I wish there were more words to describe what I’m feeling right now. Actually I’ve been feeling like this for the past week or more. That’s probably the best explanation for the week long silence on this blog. It seems there’s nothing more to write about at times. And even if there was something to write about, or rant about, what difference does it make by posting it in here? Seriously what’s being achieved or even remotely changed by me spouting on-line?

In some ways, writing stuff in here does help clear the mind and sort of help keep the blood pressure within the safety ranges. But is what I’m doing in here just a form of escaping from the real issues that I need to confront in the real world out there? I think so. Whenever I write something in here and then see the responses or even just the fact that people have actually taken the time to read what has been said, it feels really great. But that doesn’t change a single thing that’s making me feel the way I do.

The biggest issue is that I know what I have to do to change the situation. But actually doing it is not as easy as it sounds. To change the situation, I need to change my character drastically. I need to be someone who most people will have trouble dealing with, because its going to rock the boat to the point of throwing a few people overboard. And that’s something I have huge issues with.

I know there’ll be loads of people who will say just go ahead and do what needs to be done, change the situation and deal with the consequences as they come. Hell, that’s probably what I would tell someone in my own situation. So WTF is preventing me from taking my own advice? Sometimes I feel that its just me being too cowardly to confront people, to tell them that I think their opinions and taste are full of shit. Is it just that I don’t want people to not like me? Maybe, but then at what price am I buying another person’s opinion of me? Actually, the bigger question I should be asking myself is if I really give a damn about what they think!

Ok, ok….. Maybe I should be a little clearer about where this is all coming from. Right now, I’m stuck churning out so called ‘creative’ work, that I personally feel is pure, unadulterated bull shit! And it’s not just me, the agency as a whole is doing the same thing. Putting out mind numbing stuff that’s loved by the client and the general public too. So what’s the problem if the client AND the public love it? Well, it doesn’t say very much for your level of work when you know the general public out there (Who goes wow) also gave ‘Parliament Jokes’ and ‘One shot’ rave reviews! I mean, is that really where I want to be? I think not. I know for a fact the agency is very capable of doing work that’s going to pull people out of the drugged stupor and make them go ‘WTF”. Its just that they’re being pushed and bullied into doing safe stuff that the clients expect to see and will definitely buy without having to move an inch out of their comfort zone. And the end result of this is the jingle singing, saccharine sweet commercials that are just too perfect to be true. We might as well be doing tele-dramas for God’s sake!

Also, what do you do when the person who makes the final call on what should leave the agency and what should not, doesn’t really seem to get half of what you’re trying to say in a concept. When he just refuses to see an idea just because he doesn’t understand it or relate to it. Since when did agency people only do work that related to them? Maybe it’s time to just tell him I don’t really give a fuck whether he likes it or not, because I know it’s going to make a difference and maybe raise the level of the agency by just a little bit. The problem is he has never seen that side of me. The side that can be really rude and aggressive to the point of being obnoxious.

Which of course brings me back to the point of rocking the boat. I know that confronting him and making a point to stop stuff that I think is crap from being done, is definitely going to rock his boat and a few others too. So the question remains, after all this ranting, do I continue to remain disillusioned and unhappy (but well paid) or do I rock the boat and take the consequences? Even if they may include me falling overboard myself.

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One Response to “Disenchanted, disheartened, disappointed…”

  1. themissingsandwich Says:

    I’ll answer as objectively as I can. You have to decide what matters more. The money or the work. You have to ask yourself why you’re really in this industry when you’ve spent an equal amount of time in a different industry.Why are you here? Why?

    If you can honestly answer that within yourself, the rest will fall into place.

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