Archive for December, 2007


December 31, 2007

Was sitting at my computer and wondering what I should do, other than work of course! Contemplated writing a ‘it’s the end of the year’ type post, but then, everybody knows that right? Considered another rant about the many gripes and grouses I have with the powers that be, both in government and in office, but then again, what’s new about that. That’s when a certain topic was brought to mind by an email I received. It’s a topic that generates heaps of gossip, but is still an unavoidable factor in most people’s lives. So here goes.

If you actually think about it, there’s one thing that practically everybody in the world has in common. No matter how much we deny it, it still exists. What is it? Simply put…. it’s secrets. The ones we keep hidden deep down inside of us and hope to God no-one else ever finds out about. Now I’m sure each and everyone of you out there are smiling a little bit to yourselves right?

But seriously, think about it, isn’t there at least one little thing in your life that you keep to yourself? No matter how close you’re to someone in your life, there’ll definitely be something you’ve consciously or unconsciously kept from them. You may have the very best of reasons for doing so, like not wanting to hurt the other person’s feelings, or simply because its something too personal to share with anyone else. But still, the secrets DO exist.

While I’m not trying to preach here on the rights or wrongs of this, I do feel it’s rather sad when people who claim to, and very often actually do, trust each other with their very lives, they still feel the need to keep some parts of their lives a secret. Why is this? I guess it could be out of a personal need to have certain parts of their lives private and not be ‘public’ knowledge. It also could be the fear of being misjudged and labelled as different or weird. Either ways, doesn’t it come down to being able to trust the people you call your friends, that they will be able to understand you and accept you no matter what you’ve done? I mean, if you can’t trust your friends to do this, then why even call them your friends?

Personally speaking, I have had the bad experience of my best friends at the time, turning their backs on me and not wanting anything more to do with me. And that hurt like hell! These were guys who had gone through a lot of stuff together for many years. In a lot of ways, we were closer to each other than our own families. But still, when the shit hit the fan, they decided to cop out on me.

I used to be really bitter and hurt about the whole experience, and to an extent, I still am. But what I have come to realise, while writing this post, is the reason the shit actually hit the fan is that I had hidden certain things from them. Yes, I did have the very best of reasons for not telling them, because I felt that involving them in what was happening was going to put them in unwanted risk. But in actual fact, if I had bothered to share with them what was happening, they may very well have been able to prevent the situation from ever happening. I just didn’t trust them enough to give them the chance to help me out till it was too late. So in a way, I guess their rejection of me, was a justified reaction to the hurt they felt. I think they felt as let down by me as I felt let down by them.

I think that if we just trust our friends a little more everyday, and share with them the things that are going on in our life, it may actually help us get through this crazy world in better shape. It’s just a simple matter of letting your friends help out in whatever way they can. True, they may have stuff to tell you that you don’t really want to hear, but then what if that stuff is the honest truth and what you need to hear? Isn’t it better to have your friends tell you the honest truth and not have to realise it when it’s too late?

So here’s to the New Year, may it show me the way to be more understanding towards the people I love, and may I also learn to trust them a lot more with each new day.


The first Ball-less President!!

December 29, 2007

As a nation Sri Lanka has had the honour of being noted for many firsts in the world, like having the world’s first female Prime Minister, setting various cricketing firsts, etc. However it now seems we have yet another to proudly lay claim to. The world’s first ball-less President!

Having waited eagerly to see what disciplinary action would be taken against a certain government thug, I was not in the least bit surprised to see, the Chief Executive of our country has decided that discretion is the better part of valour when it comes to handling ‘the nutty doctor’.

Mr.Chinthanaya, who never misses an opportunity to breath fire and brimstone and preach war and aggression from his well guarded political stages, doesn’t seem to have the balls to bring his own ministers to task! I guess it’s easier to rant and rave from the safety of his bullet proof limousine and his Special Forces cordon, than to stand up to his party thugs and demand for the rights of the people who voted him into office. A typical behavioural trait that should be expected from a ball-less eunuch. Of course I extend my apologies to any eunuchs I may offend by making such a comparison, as I believe even they have more backbone and self respect than Mr.Chinthanaya!

I expect the people who actually voted for this parody of a leader must be quite thrilled that now the whole world can be witness to the cowardly behaviour of the Chief Executive when it comes down to handling issues that matter to the people. After all, I’m sure they cast their vote in the honest hope of helping Sri Lanka achieve international fame and glory by having the world’s first ball-less President! And Mr.Chinthanaya is doing his best not to let them down.

In my opinion, it’s high time the intelligent people of Sri Lanka demanded an accounting from Mr.Chinthanaya as to what steps he personally intends to take with regard to the political thuggery of the royal jester. It’s ridiculous for him to hide behind the party structure and claim that action will be taken by them, when he is the one whi appointed this thug. He is the leader of the party and the Executive President of this country, and it’s time he took action.

Of course, in doing so he will obviously disappoint many of his fans, who are already writing to the Guinness Book of Records and petitioning on his behalf for inclusion. But I say to hell with the world record, and to hell with the missed opportunity, it’s time for Mr.Chinthanaya to grow a pair or get the fuck out of office!!

And we still wait…

December 28, 2007

After all the fuss created over the royal jester yesterday, things seem to have died down completely. Yes, the local blogosphere is still seething with post after post regarding what happened, but it seems no one in authority is very disturbed.

What puzzles me the most is why there has been no message from the highest authority in the land. I mean, don’t we the people of this country deserve to know what action is being taken about the disgraceful behaviour of a government minister? It seems to me Mr.Chinthanaya is trying to emulate the infamous ostrich by burying his head in the sand and hoping things will just go away. Or maybe he’s hoping that the chief tiger will come to his rescue and set off a few bombs in the south. That should certainly distract the public from the ‘petty’ antics of the doctor of all things idiotic! Hopefully, that won’t be the case.

I have always thought the ‘Chinthanaya’ was just a lot of bullshit and it seems the royal thug and his master also agree with me. If not, would this hooligan even dare to behave in the manner he habitually does, and would Mr.Chinthanaya continue to always look the other way? If Mahinda even believes in an iota of his own gibberish, he would have had this rabid dog publicly taken to task. His continued silence seems a tacit, if not open, encouragement of thuggery and hooliganism.

His very personal involvement in trying to subvert justice when junior jester was in trouble just goes to prove how afraid Mr.Chinthanaya is of the ‘doctor’. I’m fairly sure the ministerial thug has got a very firm hold of a certain pair of balls, and is in the process of squeezing them even as we wait!

So lets wait and see if Mr.Chinthanaya will at least attempt to prove me wrong, or if he will just do the same as always and bluster like an idiot on stage.

Mahindha Chinthanaya visits Rupavahini

December 27, 2007

Having returned to office today after the long weekend and hoping for a lazy day recovering from the after effects of all the festivities, I was in for a surprise courtesy of Rupavahini.

I had just put my feet up and settled in for a cat nap, when I was rudely awakened by my colleagues and dragged into the media room to watch the live proceedings unwinding at the Rupavahini complex. If the commotion in office wasn’t enough to wake me up, what was unfolding in living colour certainly was! There was the chief protagonist of the Mahindha Chinthanaya, ‘Dr’ Mervyn Silva (henceforth referred to as the Jester and other such colourful terms), in all his boorish glory!

Unfortunately for the political thug, this time round things seemed to have gone awfully wonky. Having assaulted a director of the media station, the Jester was attempting to make a quick getaway as is his usual cowardly fashion, when much to his surprise, his way was blocked! Now I’m sure this was not something he bargained for when sticking his unusually large head through the main gates.

Having his escape route foiled, the brave epitome of Dutugemunu, then decided to hightail it to the Chairman’s office where he barricaded himself. I would give a few years off my life just to know what was running through the thug’s mind as he most probably cowered under the Chairman’s desk!

In his best imitation of a fearless king of yore, the ministerial joker acted fast. He sent one of his accompanying thugs outside to face the music. The poor thug, who also probably never thought he would face this situation, was rudely handcuffed and taken in by the police. However, not before he was soundly thumped by various aggrieved staff members.

Having realised that even this move would not calm the baying for Jester blood, the illustrious fool had the army brought into the fray. I must have a quick look through the Mahindha Chinthanaya to see where it’s mentioned that the army is required to provide security services for boorish louts!

Any ways, having finally decided to brave the gauntlet, the fearless and brainless ‘Dutugemunu’ was ignobly pushed and pulled along by a whole contingent of security personnel. But once again things did not go as planned for the Jester. One of the more intelligent members of the Rupavahini staff, having decided the doctor of all things foolish needed to have a stronger family resemblance to his beloved son, made the magnanimous gesture of dying the Jester’s hair a fetching shade of pink! I’m sure the ministerial buffoon’s eldest son must be quite chuffed that his father has decided to emulate him when it comes to hair colouring styles.

The latest reports filtering in claim that Dutugemunu’s head has now reduced to a more normal size, having most of the hot air inside released, thanks to a convenient hole being punctured in it by yet another well intentioned person chucking a large stone.

Now, whilst all this provided me with a very entertaining day, it still remains to be seen what action the President is going to take with regard to his hired thug. Having screamed and shouted himself hoarse about the many benefits to the media in his ‘Chinthanaya’, the President seems either unwilling or unable to rein in the rabid dog he has placed in a position of power. Is this then what the people of this country are expected to identify as the beloved ‘Chinthanaya’? Obviously the only ‘Chinthanaya’ this prize fool understands is being thrashed to within an inch of his life!

It will be interesting to see what convoluted and ridiculous excuses will be made by the powers that be to help this gun toting thug stay in power. I’m sure these will make very creative reading over the next few days.

So, here’s to the Mahinda Chinthanaya! Long may it support the likes of the Jester!

The Curse of Ahab’s Children

December 21, 2007

I was just reading a poem with the same title as this post. Written by Captain Paul Watson, this poem is dedicated to the ongoing battle between the Japanese whaling fleet and an organisation called ‘the sea shepherds’.

While reading through it and also going through the rest of the stuff on their website, it seriously got to me, the emotions expressed seem so powerful. It’s incredible how these people care enough to actually put their very lives on the line to ensure no more whales are killed. I was stuck to find even one instance when I cared enough to do the same.

Isn’t it sad how we become so engrossed in our own pursuit of happiness that we forget the bigger responsibilities that we have? The responsibility that each and every one of us have to protect and nurture a planet that is increasingly defenseless in the face of humankind’s ravages.

Most people simply assume that nature is there for us to exploit to the best of our abilities, but never once does it cross their minds that we also need to protect and sustain nature. Even if they don’t think of doing something out of the goodness of their hearts, surely the least they could do would be to preserve nature out of the selfish notion of self preservation in the long run!

If I was given a choice today, to stay in my present state or join the brave men and women fighting to safeguard our planet, I know what my choice would be. I want to be able to think back and say I did my utmost to prove to mother nature that not all her children are ungrateful bastards. That somewhere there will always be people who will care enough to protect her other children, the majestic whales, the elephants, and even the lowly puppy and kitten left abandoned on our cruel city streets. I want to be able to help future generations swim with the whales and marvel at the wondering herds of elephants. I want my kids to gaze speechless into the liquid eyes of a puppy.

As this year draws to a close, I wish I had done something more to stop the ongoing destruction, that I had cared a little more, and tried to make a difference. I wish I had done something to soothe the pain caused by us on a daily basis. Maybe in the new year I actually will… and make up for the fact that I too am one of Ahab’s children.

The freedom to drive

December 20, 2007

after something like 8 months of not being able to legally drive, I finally got back the freedom to drive!

Having lost my original driving licence and also my National Identity Card, at the beginning of this year, I have been forced to negotiate winding and often pot holed roads in order to avoid being stopped by the forces of law and order. There were times when actually stopped by them, I have come up with various creative excuses as to why I don’t have my licence with me at the time. But I finally decided enough was enough and went through the painful ordeal of getting a duplicate licence.

Why, you may ask did I wait for such a long time to get down to this? Simply put, it was because of the various horror stories I’ve heard about dealing with the many Government agencies involved in the process. There were also various theories on what was the best way to go about getting the licence too. While some people felt it was a simple process that involved going to the RMV in Colombo, others felt it was a much more complicated situation that involved me having to first get my NIC in order and then going all the way to Werahara and applying for the licence. Another twist to the story was that since I did not have a photocopy of the licence or the number, I would have to re-sit the examination from scratch! This in itself was enough to trigger my extremely sensitive procrastination instincts.

Finally, after personally calling the very helpful Government information hotline (1919), I was informed of the proper procedures and what was required from me. Of course whilst they were very prompt in giving me the information, it didn’t help that I had to go to 4 different locations in order to avail myself of the duplicate. A veritable pillar to post sort of situation!

The first point of contact with the Government machine was the neighbourhood Graama Seveka officer. This worthy gentleman made himself available to the general public in the morning hours on 3 days of the week. Nothing more! Since this involved taking a few hours off work, it led to more procrastination on my part. However, having gone to his office and stood in line for a good 1 hour, I was able to get the necessary seals and signatures on my forms and photos.

The next stop, which again had to be on another day as I had absolutely no idea how long it would take, was to visit the Divisional Secretariat in the area and get yet another rubber stamp imprint and signature. Not surprisingly, this too involved standing in a queue and pondering the cushy life of a government servant whilst being an unwitting eavesdropper to various insights into the lives of their families, their eating habits and even their toilet habits!

Having obtained the required approval, I then made my way to the neighbourhood police station in order to make a report that my original licence had been misplaced. This was an experience in itself. If ever you want to know what it feels like to be a criminal, just step in to the nearest police station, where they look at everyone equally! Here again, the now familiar waiting process was repeated. Of course, it was much more entertaining than the previous places as I had the privilege of listening to the travails a woman was having with an evil mother in law, the angst ridden wails of a mother whose son had eloped with the devil’s own daughter and the amazing rationale of a businessman who had forged a cheque!

However, I was forced to tear myself away from these dramatics by a mealy mouthed female police constable who seemed to think she was being extremely put upon by my request to make an entry. Having managed to muddle through the process of trying to make sense of the questions she was muttering under her breath and trying to translate what my job designation was in Sinhalese, the entry was finally finished and duly signed by me.

I then politely (always be polite at police stations), asked her when the copy could be collected, and was told that I would have to submit a written request for the same. Trying to make the process work a little quicker (naive person that i am), I promptly penned a request letter and handed it over to her. Her reaction was to look at it blankly and ask me what it was. When I explained it was the letter she had mentioned, she tossed it back to me saying that as I had written it in English, she could not understand what it said, and that I should give them a letter in Sinhalese!

Of course this meant my having to come back on yet another day. Having no other option, I did so in the evening of the following day, only to be told the person in charge of that was off for the day and I should come back the next day at a decent hour. And here was I thinking police stations ran a 24 Hrs operation! Having gone back for the 3rd time, I waited for the officer to finish having her breakfast and then had my letter snatched from me and chucked into a pile of letters practically overflowing from her desk. I was then told to come back in 3 days time to collect the copy.

This for once was a pleasant experience. Having got to the section, I was standing in front of the female constable and being treated like a piece of furniture when a young female SI asked me politely (she was actually being polite) what my issue was, promptly located the copy and released it to me herself. It sort of restored my faith in the police department.

I think the easiest part of the entire process was the RMV itself. I was directed to stand in a queue and hand over my documents to the counter. Simple right? It would have been, had it not been for the computer constantly crashing every 30 seconds or so! This had the adverse effect of putting the operator in a foul mood. No surprises as to who he took this anger out on ya? So having stood in line for well over an hour, with nothing for entertainment except the muttering of the computer operator and the varied smells of B/O, I was told my licence would be ready in the afternoon. Which it was! Albeit, half an hour later than I was told, but still it was ready!! Quite the example of efficiency.

So as of yesterday, I’m driving like a normal motorist would, not cringing every time I see a khaki uniform or a roadblock nor having to come up with ever more creative excuses to be delivered with an ingratiating smile!

P.S. This is probably the most boring post ever, so please feel free to boo very loudly in the comments section!!

All I want for Christmas is my Ministry!

December 18, 2007

Once again the season of good cheer and joy to the world has arrived. Unfortunately for those of us in the Paradise Isle, the season seems to having a decided lack of all things cheery. Unless of course you were one of the lucky people who were given a gift of a Ministry by the Santa Claus type gesture of the JVP.

I think most people were eagerly awaiting the outcome of the budget vote last Friday, wondering if it would lead to some radical changes, or just reinforce the pig headed mentality of the powers that be. I for one, was definitely hoping that by some miracle the budget would be thrown out on it’s ear, together with the idiot’s who voted for it. But unfortunately this was totally dependent on a certain political party that seems to have lost track of it’s political and ideological origins.

When the JVP first refrained from voting in the initial stages, it seemed to be giving out the signals that for once they were prepared to put the people of this country first, and their own personal gains second. That however turned out to be just another one of many political smoke and mirror tactics by them. Having waited for the 11th hour to stop sitting on the fence, the JVP as usual went against everything they scream and shout at the May Day rallies and voted against the interests of the common man. They in effect voted for the continuance of their many Ministerial perks and privileges. Most of which they vehemently denied wanting in the first place!

I actually feel sad to think back to the days when as a young, impressionable school kid, I too thought the JVP were the solution to a country filled with corruption. They were the party who were supposed to empower the youth of this country and give them the freedom from the strictures of a decadent society. I still remember marching out of school and even facing the tear gas attacks of the riot squads in order to support this vision of a better Sri Lanka. I also remember going hungry because we joined in the protest action of throwing away the free meals provided to the students. But I guess the cool breezes emitting from the A/C’s of their BMW’s and the sumptious buffet at the parliament have made them forget the harsh smell of tear gas and the hunger of the masses.

So, I guess all that’s left for us to do right now, is to try and salvage what we can, and hold on till it finally gets too hard to call this country home. Its a day I dread and just hope never comes.

As for me, all I want for Christmas…… is my country.

The not so Golden Mile!!

December 17, 2007

Had a very disturbing and annoying experience at the beach last evening. A few friends and myself got in the mood to sit by the sea after a great day spent over booze and a delicious home cooked lunch. We also decided to take along two 4 footed friends who had been locked up at home the whole day as we thought they would like the experience too. After-all, who doesn’t like the beach right?

Anyways, we got there and decided that it would be best if we went to a particular restaurant that calls itself ‘Golden’ as that would give us the convenience of reserved parking. After making our way to the beach, we walked around a bit and then walked into the beach front entrance off the ‘posh’ restaurant. We were immediately rushed upon by a group of irate and obnoxious waiters who very rudely told us that ‘animals’ were not tolerated in the restaurant. Mind you, we weren’t even in the restaurant, but attempting to seat ourselves at one of the many outdoor tables. Nevertheless, we were asked to promptly leave. At this point while some of us walked back out to stand with the pets (who were on leads), a few others asked for some soft drinks, to which they were given the answer (quite rudely again) that drinks were served only if a food item was also ordered. To add insult to injury, the management even had the audacity to ask us to immediately move our vehicles from the car park as we weren’t ordering anything from them!

This sort of behaviour reeks of the idiotically straight laced mind-set of certain hotels and restaurants in this country. I would understand if someone had made a complaint about the two well-behaved dogs seated with us at our table. In fact to the contrary, there were quite a few other patrons who actually walked out of the restaurant to have a chat with us and play with the dogs! Even they were a bit non-plussed at the strange attitude of the management. I would expect that in this day and age a beach front restaurant would have more broad minded staff being employed. Of course, on the other hand, maybe if it was some white skinned NGO sorts who brought their pets along, the management would have been more than happy to turn a blind eye!

I guess the management of the ‘not so golden mile’ are too used to the behaviour of the various  ‘two legged animals’ they normally associate with in their free time to know any better. So until I hear things have changed, I for one will not be seen dead at the not so golden mile!!

The Human cockroach has feelings!!!

December 13, 2007

Just a little update on the further activities of the amazing human cockroach. After my last post, and the posting of the name under which ‘it’ wrote was put on my blog, the human cockroach seems to have been somewhat aggravated! Somewhat reminiscent of the behaviour of a normal cockroach when you stamp your foot just near it.

I’ve got no less than 8 new comments from this creature for today! All of them on the same lines as the comments posted yesterday. It seems the somewhat rudimentary feelings of the cockroach have been hurt, because the comments have become a tad more insulting in their language and tone.

Surprisingly, it seems this loathsome creature appears to have some sort of basic intelligence. After inadvertently revealing ‘its’ name yesterday, the human cockroach has today decided to post the comments under ‘its’ given name. He/She is actually acknowledging the name given in my post yesterday, by now commenting under the name of ‘the human cockroach’.

The best part is, this creature is trying so desperately to make trouble between a certain group of people, that ‘its’ clutching at whatever straws ‘it’ can find among my previous blog posts and related comments. The range of desperate half truths that have been constructed by ‘it’ are amazing in their own right. Somewhat sad though, the extent these cockroaches will go to, in order to find some sort of twisted gratification in life.

I’m assuming the reason for these additional comments today is because the cockroach is hoping these are going to get to me in some way! Unfortunately for him/her/it, the biggest reaction I have had so far is a couple of shudders of revulsion, which is normally how I react to cockroaches anyway.

But as a form of public service to all decent human beings out there, I have decided to post the cockroach’s IP address in here. So if anyone is interested in tracking down which sewer ‘it’ likes to frequent the most, you’re very welcome to do so. Also if more updates are wanted regarding the behavioural habits of this particular cockroach, please feel free to ask me.

Human cockroach IP address =  124. 43. 130. 161

Human cockroach mail ID =

Human cockroaches!!

December 12, 2007

Today was quite an interesting day, at least the past half hour or so of the day anyways. I had the privilege of being visited by a human cockroach! Thankfully the visit wasn’t in person, but in the form of several comments posted on my blog. I’ve found this to be fairly typical form when it comes to these human cockroaches. They generally don’t have the balls to make whatever comments they have to a person’s face and resort to hiding in the shadows and making snide remarks. This is probably due to their high sense of self preservation and to avoid being seriously stomped on! Very cockroach like behaviour ya?

For those of you who are confused as to what a human cockroach is, let me clarify it for you. A human cockroach is a person who gets his kicks from meddling in other people’s lives in order to cause as much damage and hurt as possible. Very often these cockroaches are known to you in a remote way and are in a position to see or hear of the damage they have caused. The favourite targets of the cockroaches are people who’re in serious relationships or better still, people who’re married! They revel in spreading rumours between the two people and then sit back and watch the fun that happens. For them the final icing on the cake would be that one or even both of the attacked people confide in them and look at them as a shoulder to cry on. Thereby giving them a long sought after friendship that they have been hankering after for various twisted reasons.

The reason for these sick and twisted creatures to do what they do is very simple. They’re for the most part very vindictive and vicious, generally leading very lonely lives with absolutely no good friends. They’re the sort of people who are automatically shunned by most people for the creepy way they act. I’m sure you’ve all bumped into them at some point in your lives. Most of us have even included them in our circle of friends or acquaintances because we feel sorry for them. They spend the most part of their lives plotting and scheming on how they could break up friendships they are jealous of. They’re a prime example of the attitude that says “If I can’t have it, no-one else should either”. Unfortunately, as some of these creatures have become very adept at hiding their true nature and only occasionally come out to do some damage, you have to be on your guard. At the first hint of cockroach like tendencies, stomp on them very hard and then make sure to inform all and sundry of their name and what they have done. That’s the only way to be totally rid of these loathsome creatures!

If any of you want to know the name of my visitor, check the comments section of my previous post.