Archive for March, 2008

Where have all the traffic cops gone…???

March 31, 2008

Random thoughts spinning around in their separate eccentric worlds…

Conversations that have happened keep colliding with conversations that are yet to come and even conversations that are imagined…

Pictures from a dream… getting mixed up with random picture memories of everything else…

Long unoccupied gaps that seem to serve no purpose but to take up space and cram everything else into an even smaller space than before…

Worries about health… Booze…. dogs… running roughshod over plans for the rest of the day… week… month… year… life…

Ambitions of not having a smoke right now being pummelled to death by visions off lovely billowing clouds of nicotine laden smoke…

Nonsensical words happily joining hands to make up garbled sentences that make no sense…

Everything crashing and banging and outshouting each other to make one huge big traffic jam…

Where there was order… now total chaos seems to reign!

Can someone please tell me where all the traffic cops in my brain have gone???


Drag Queen Nuns……!!!

March 25, 2008

Sister Brute-Hilda “The Boot Nun Inquisitor”

I’m pretty tolerant with other people’s views and how they express it, but isn’t this going a little too far?

The Mahindian Eye…!

March 17, 2008

The term “turning a blind eye” has always been attributed to Lord Nelson for his famous act of looking using his blind eye to his advantage. It has also been termed “the Nelsonian eye”. However it seems that history is being re-written even as I write this post!

It has been many a day since the Royal Jester aka the doctor of all things thuggish, got his just rewards at the hands of some very courageous media people, but it seems the repercussions of the incident are still carrying on.

Up to date not less than 5 media personnel have been ruthlessly assaulted by common thugs who seem to act with total impunity. It seems strange that these attacks have started only after the Royal Jester got thrashed. While the media institutions and the human rights organisations are trying their best to highlight the deplorable situation, the police and other security forces seem unable to put a stop to the violence.

The media minister has released a statement in which he regrets the latest incident that has occurred just one day after the staff of SLRC were given assurances by him of increased security. Obviously the thugs who were involved in the latest attack, were not kept updated on the minister’s plans! Or maybe they were, and didn’t give a rat’s ass for him or his authority.

Now, I’m sure that even this government’s staunchest supporters, are under no illusions as to who is behind this string of attacks. It is obvious to even the most simple minded of our citizens, that it’s the Royal bouncer who is exacting his unofficial revenge for the heinous crime of daring to lay a finger on his royal personage.

However, the million dollar question that remains to be answered, is what the highest power in the land is going to do about it. No doubt he too is well aware of the situation and also who the perpetrator is. But up to date there has been nothing but a deafening silence from the presidential abode. Mr.Chinthanaya and his family members, who are quick to comment on almost everything that happens in the country, seem suddenly to have absolutely nothing to say.

So it seems that very soon, Lord Nelson will be evicted from his place in history, to be replaced by none other than Mr.Chinthanaya himself. After all, I doubt that even Lord Nelson could have turned a blind eye to the goings on in this country of ours.

So, here’s to re-writing history. Let’s all try to emulate the stoicism of Mr.Chinthanaya and turn a ‘Mahindian Eye’ to the ever increasing madness that’s descending on our country. At least that way we may be able to avoid the heart ache…..

Whoring gets a new face…

March 7, 2008

A few days ago, I got together with some friends at a Colombo watering hole and after shooting the shit on various subjects, someone brought up the subject of advertising (So what’s new right?). Being in the industry myself, we were soon in a very animated discussion as to where the local industry seemed to be heading.

His firm conviction was the entire local industry has turned into a money making machine with absolutely no self respect whatsoever. And I have to admit, after looking around and speaking to some others, I agree with him. Everything today seems to be about the bottom line. While I do understand that all agencies are primarily businesses, I don’t understand why we have to stoop to such low levels in order to make a profit.

It was at this point, that my friend claimed that all the local agencies, bar none, behave in the exact same manner when first given a job by a new client. And it is this behaviour that has set the trend in Sri Lanka. To prove this he gave me an example that broke through the alcohol induced fuzziness and has stuck in my mind like a leech.

Friend: “If you were to take a girl out for a movie on your first date, would you try to be funny with her?”

Me: “Of course not!”

Friend: “What would your reaction be, if she made a move on you, and in fact gave you a blow job right there in the cinema?”

Me: “Fucking brilliant!!” (This was of course followed by many fairly lewd comments from the other people present, which will not be repeated here)

Friend: “The next time you take her out would you try to get something more out of her?

Me: “Hell ya!”

Friend: “But honestly, would you ever seriously respect her as an individual with values?”

Me: “No….” (Grudgingly)

Friend: “So why do you expect any of our clients to treat us with any respect?”

Basically what he was trying to say was, we as an industry have the habit of literally going down on our knees and blowing off our clients as hard as we can. Now, the client who came to us expecting us to have some sort of values and morals, looks at us in a whole new light. After all, if we’re willing to blow him for a vacancy ad, maybe he can push us into spreading our legs for the promise of a little more business!

Unfortunately, it seems to work every time. Day after day, I’ve seen examples of the industry just lying back and letting the client right royally fuck up everything we’ve worked on for countless hours! And somehow, the fact that the client is paying for it, seems to justify it!

I mean, would you pull your pants down and bend over the nearest chair just because someone offered to pay for the privilege of buggering you? I highly doubt it. So why then can’t the people “in charge” of this industry behave the same way when it comes to work?

I feel the time is right for this industry to get some self respect and actually do the job we’re supposed to do, instead of letting the clients tell us what they want us to do. We’re supposed to be the experts, so why do we let someone else tell us how to do our job?

So the question remains, do we want to be known as top notch advertising professionals or just cheapo whores, who are a dime a dozen?

The answer is still the same…

March 6, 2008

As of today, it’s been 4 years since someone really wonderful decided to share the rest of her life with me. 4 years since we walked down the aisle to marry someone who felt as comfortable as our favourite pair of jeans.

The past four years have been a whirl. They’ve been full of experiences that I wouldn’t ever want to give up. Not all of them have been pleasant ones (and I’m sure she would have more reason to say this than me), but they’ve all been part and parcel of my life. And the strange thing is, I seem to remember the good times much more than the bad times. Maybe because they somehow made up for the bad times and showed me why I still love her.

I’ve come to realise, no matter how many differences we have, she’ll still stand by me when it matters. Maybe not always in the way I want her to, but in the way I need her to. And that’s what really matters. She’s been the one to show me the value of having a heart and actually wearing it on your sleeve at times. She’s been the one who’s shown me the simple joy of just sitting on a beach in the night.

In the 4 years since she said yes, I’ve come to realise that I would never want this to end. Even at the worst of times, I still know I wouldn’t want to walk away. Because how can you walk away from someone that’s part of your life? How do you walk away from someone who’s shared with you some of the best moments of your life? I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be able to function if she were to walk away from me. It would be like I was missing an integral part of myself.

I wish I could make up for all those times I hurt her, for all those mistakes I’ve made and never learned. Maybe with time I’ll be able to. I hope she’ll give me that chance.

So, four years down and counting, I know this is something that can only get better with time. And I’m positive that if someone were to ask me the same questions they asked four years ago, the answer would still be the same…….. “I do”

The world’s cheapest smoothie bar…

March 4, 2008

These were the very words used by the owner of the establishment. And unlike the claims most places make, he was being quite truthful! He could also probably conduct his very own Degree course in PR for restaurant owners!!

Happened to be driving home last night and wondering what to do about dinner when I remembered seeing this little place in Kohuwela that advertised itself as a smoothie and waffle bar. I’ve always wanted to stop and check them out, but the traffic during the evening has always been an issue.

Anyways, as we were past the rush hour, we stopped and ventured into the place which consists of a counter and a few stools only. Not at all the pretentious set up I normally associate with establishments that boast such menu. The first pleasant surprise was the owner of the establishment. He greeted us with a big smile and and chatted with us almost like we were family.

Seeing us gazing in confusion at the extensive range of smoothies and waffles on offer, he asked us if it was the first time we were stopping in there. Having established we were freshers to his little bar, he promptly offered to make a recommendation as to what we should order. The waffles with mayonnaise and prawn masala were totally awesome. Just as he had predicted. Our other choice of mayonnaise with bacon and cheese too was as good, if not better. The portions too were quite healthy and one waffle was definitely enough for a person.

Having sorted that out, we were about to order a smoothie each when once again he stepped in and made various recommendations. The one disappointment was not having any strawberries on offer. Of course, he seemed even more upset about the fact than we were, so that sort of made things a little better. It just happened we had the bad luck of coming in on a day when his regular strawberry supplier had let him down. So maybe we’ll have better luck next time around.

Anyways, having asked us what fruits we liked, he then proceeded to whip up a concoction for us. Of course, this was after having once again pleasantly surprised us by refusing to make us a smoothie each as we requested. Instead, he politely inquired if we were planning on having the waffles for dinner, and if so, he advised us not to spoil our appetites because the smoothies were quite large. Large was an understatement! Two of us struggled mightily to finish off the one smoothie he whipped up for us. (This included a top up of the glass halfway through!)

By the time we were finished with the enormous smoothie, the waffles were all packed and ready to take with us. Once again we were surprised. The total cost came to just 730 Rupees! Seeing the shock on our faces, he then grinned and made the comment that became this post’s headline. “The world’s cheapest smoothie bar”.

I personally would like to add a qualifier to it: The world’s cheapest and probably the bestsmoothie bar in the world! Definitely a place I would re-visit to try out the other offerings on the menu.

P.S. If anyone’s interested in finding this place, its located a little before the Kohuwela junction when you’re travelling out of Colombo. Just after you pass the Keells Super and a large car sale, look out for it on the left. If parking is an issue, you can park down the little residential lane alongside the bar.